A Conversation with my Mom

In a week and a half, my mom is coming to visit us in Norway. She's really excited, but nervous as well--it has been 23 years since she last flew. She has been calling me frequently with questions about the flight, and I think she understands the "fluids in a clear Ziploc bag" rule. I have also tried to express how crucial it is for her to drink some wine on the flight to ease her nerves. The other day, she called with another question...

Mom: I'm going to want an alarm clock while I'm in Norway. Do you have one I could borrow?

Me: Nope, sorry, we just have the one in our room. Can you bring your own?

Mom: I don't think that would be a good idea. What if the airport security hears it ticking in my suitcase and thinks it's a bomb?

Me: *blink, blink* Um, have you considered taking the batteries out?

My mom will be flying over with a couple of family friends, so hopefully they will guide her through security without incident, and, once on the plane, encourage her to drink up. It should be a fun trip!

It's Official, Kevin's a Real, Live Person!

Kevin returned from China late last night. This morning, he went through all his mail, and lo and behold, Norway has finally recognized him as a person! That's right, Kevin now has a person number! This means that he can open a bank account here, sign up for cable TV and be assigned a doctor. It also means that he won't have to leave the country every 3 months to get a stamp on his passport. (Though he travels for work so much, that was never an issue for him!) Now, all we need to do is apply for permission for me to live here, and in another 9 or 10 months, I too might be recognized as a person.

(The above photo was obviously not taken in Norway, as there is a dearth of Mexican restaurants here. It was taken last June in Texas, but I thought it captured the giddiness of the moment--being a person is awesome!)

So I'm Thinking It's Gotta Be Some Kinda Tree

I freely admit that I am no horticulturist. Houseplants generally don't survive a week with me, and I have absolutely no idea of the names of different flowers. That being said, I was able to ascertain that the plants in the top two photos are some types of trees...and then I was stumped. Anyway, I thought the buds were interesting and wondered what the trees were called--anyone a little better versed in all things botanical than I am? (And thanks to Keera, I know that all the pretty little purple flowers in the bottom photo are called blåveiss. The flowers are all over in our yard right now. And guess what's finally not in our yard. That would be snow--yay, spring!)

A Jackalope Sighting

I was sitting at my desk and chatting on the phone when a huge white creature dashed past my window. At first I thought it was a dog until I saw its massive back legs and the way it hopped. (For a split second, I actually thought it was a wallaby, and then I remembered that I live in Norway, not the Australian outback.) It was a rabbit, the biggest, toughest looking rabbit I have ever seen. Seriously, the animal had to weigh at least 25 or 30 pounds. Could it have been an Arctic hare? It was mostly white with some mottled gray and brown on its back, and I know that Arctic hares do change from white to brown in the summer. Or did it escape from some lab, after years of growth hormone tests? I know there is no such thing as a jackalope, but this bunny could have easily supported a full rack of antlers between its giant ears. I'm so disappointed that I didn't get a picture of him! Maybe I'll put some carrots out in the yard to lure him back...though something tells me this bunny doesn't survive on carrots alone. I'll bet he feasts on whole roasted moose, with a carrot or two on the side!

Kirsten Giftekniv

On Friday night, we went to a party at Brusveen (an old farm owned by Kevin's company, it is now used as a restaurant and inn). Brusveen is really beautiful and stately inside--even the king has stayed there a few times. The party was a farewell celebration for one of Kevin's coworkers, and wow, Norwegians really know how to send a guy off in style! Dinner was great, the wine and beer flowed freely, and the employees put together a cute song and dance number, a slide show and a really sweet scrapbook for their departing friend.

After dinner, everyone shoved that huge dining table to one end of the dining room and the dancing began. I openly admit that I am not a good dancer, and when sober, I generally refuse to go anywhere near the dance floor. But, as I said, the beer and wine were flowing freely, and I was not at all sober. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I now have a huge, throbbing bump on the bridge of my nose and two black eyes. My memory is a little fuzzy, but I think at one point in the evening, my dear husband elbowed me in the face as he enthusiastically started up a conga line. Um, ow!

In addition to the uncharacteristic dancing and the ability to take a punch in the nose and keep on shimmying, lots of wine makes me very chatty. I'm usually a little shy and hesitant about using my Norwegian with Kevin's coworkers, but I talked up a storm on Friday! Everyone was very complimentary about my progress, and even joked that since Kevin doesn't speak Norwegian, now I can tell all of them secrets about him right in front of him. Because I had been plied with wine, I decided to blurt out, "Kevin har lilla undertøy!" (Kevin has purple underwear.) He doesn't, but it made everyone laugh (and Kevin blush) so I guess I cracked my first successful Norwegian joke.

I also earned the nickname of "Kirsten Giftekniv", or a matchmaker. I googled the name but all the results were in Norwegian, so I'm still a little unclear on who Kirsten Giftekniv is...I think she is maybe a character in a play? Anyway, it all started because Kevin's coworked, Freddy, is single. That's him pictured above--the first picture is from Friday night, but it is a little blurry, so I also posted a picture of him with Kevin from another evening. Most of Freddy's coworkers are older than him, and already married with kids. Gjøvik is a small town without much nightlife, so poor Freddy hasn't gotten the opportunity to meet many people. I think he is the sweetest guy, so smart and nice and funny. He's 29, has a great job, is well travelled and well educated. But he's single--it boggles my mind! The more wine I drank, the more boggled my mind became, so I told him I would try to introduce him to a nice woman. Unfortunately, the only people I know are in my norskkurs and I think the majority of them are already married. (I'll have to investigate a little further in class tomorrow.) So, if anyone knows of any eligible bachelorettes, let me know...c'mon, it's fun to be a Kirsten Giftekniv!

Oblivious

After class today, I drove home with my head all full of new grammar and vocabulary. I wasn't really paying attention as I grabbed my books and got out of my car. In fact, I got all the way to my porch before I heard a loud crunching sound...yep, my moose trio is back. It was nice to see them up close again, but I was also very relieved when they ambled away...the dogs really need to go out now!

Idioms

The Norwegian language is similar to English in many ways. We learned some idioms in class the other day, and I was surprised by how close they were to English expressions. For example, if someone is good at gardening, instead of having a green thumb, they have green fingers (grønn fingere). And if someone is clumsy, they aren't all thumbs, they have ten thumbs (ti tomler). Instead of saying that an industrious sort is as busy as a bee, Norwegians say that person is hardworking like an ant (flittig som en maur). I was starting to feel pretty confident in my abilities to understand Norwegian idioms...until I did a quick google search. I found a couple that just don't translate directly. Instead of being as healthy as a horse, a robust Norwegian is as healthy as a fish (frisk som en fisk). And Norwegians don't beat around the bush--when they hem and haw, they pace around hot porridge like a cat (å gå som katta rundt den varme grauten). I really like that last one--does anyone know of any more fun Norwegian expressions? I would love to build up a colorful repertoire!

Annie

I went to the local performing arts school's production of "Annie" this afternoon. The props were fairly minimal, but I was amused that Daddy Warbuck's home was furnished with Munch's "The Scream" . It was a cute production, but honestly, my Norwegian is still so poor that I didn't understand much. Obviously I know the storyline, and of course the songs were familiar, but I did find myself dazing off after a while--it was just too difficult to follow the dialogue. Fortunately for me, there were several well choreographed dance numbers --jazz hands translate easily into any language!

Spring Photos from Helgoya Island

I just talked to my mom in central New York--they're getting hit by a nor'easter today and are expecting at least a foot of snow....meanwhile, way up north in Norway, we are experiencing a warm, sunny spring day! Kevin and I took the dogs on a little trip across Lake Mjosa to the island of Helgoya. That bridge is a lot more rickety in real life than it looks to be in the photo. There is no way 2 cars could pass each other, but there are no stoplights at either end of the bridge--I'm guessing some interesting meetings happen about halfway across occasionally! The third photo was taken from Helgoya, looking back towards the town of Nes. There is a beautiful old stone church in Nes, and we found a rocky beach where we walked the dogs. Honey loves to swim, and even though there was still some ice in places on Lake Mjosa, she jumped right in and paddled around for a bit. Kermit refuses to even get his feet wet, so he stayed a safe distance back from the water's edge. On the drive home, I was happy to see some pretty, tiny purple flowers along the road--yet another sign that spring is finally here. Hopefully, spring will eventually arrive in New York, too....someday!

Ducks

We took a walk by Lake Mjosa this evening before dinner. The air was warm, the sun was still shining brightly and the ducks were out in full force. There are still some patches of snow here and there, but it is quickly disappearing, and buds are popping up all over on the trees. I have even seen some little yellow "Horse Hoof" flowers...I was beginning to think that spring would never arrive, but I think it's finally here!

A Good Decision

I went to my new Norskkurs today and breathed a sigh of relief--it's not too hard, but challenging enough that I learned several new words and a little bit of grammar. I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be, and best of all, the teacher is so much fun. She tries to get us out of the classroom as much as possible by scheduling walks and cultural events for us. On Monday, we're going to see "Annie" (sung in Norwegian--instead of "Tomorrow", I guess the song will be "I Morgen"!) I realize now that I don't want to learn Norwegian fast, I want to learn it well. I'm not desperate to get a job or get into college, so there is no rush, and since I'm in class for 5 hours a day, I need to enjoy it. The guilt from dropping out of the harder class is subsiding--no room for guilt and regret in my head when there are Norwegian show tunes on the horizon!

Norskkurs

I have been going to my Norwegian class since January. A couple of weeks ago, all the students in the school took a placement exam. I guess I scored really well, because they decided to move me up into a more challenging class. (I am not all that bright, I am just phenomenal at taking standardized tests...I wish there was money to be made in the test taking industry! Seriously, I can barely add and subtract, but in college, I was placed in calculus for pre-med majors after taking a standardized math placement exam!) For the past two days, I have sat in a classroom with students who have lived in Norway for several years, who know all the verb tenses, both regular and irregular, who can understand rapidfire Norwegian spoken with a slight Bergen accent. For the past two days I have felt so stupid, my head has ached, and smoke has poured out of my ears as my feeble little brain burned.
I'm not alone in my frustration. The other American was also placed in this advanced class and she also feels like we're in way over our heads. Luckily for me, she spoke up, and it sounds like by the end of the week we should be in an intermediate class. If she hadn't said anything, I probably would have tried to plow my way through the class, gritting my teeth and hating every minute of it, because I NEVER quit! (I have a Master's degree in substance abuse counseling that is proof of that. I knew by the first semester of my program that I didn't ever want a career in the counseling field, but with grim determination, I continued, getting straight A's and accruing quite the student loan debt! Because, again, I NEVER quit!) So I'm sitting at home now, kind of freaking out because I did give up. The words, "I can't do it, the class is too hard," didn't actually come out of my mouth, but I did stand behind my classmate and nod vigorously as she said them. Too bad she wasn't there with me in college to get me out of that awful calculus course....

Diamonds, Drugs, Debauchery and Some More Amsterdam Photos

The best ways to get around Amsterdam are by bike or by boat. We weren't quite brave enough to rent a bike--the trams, cars and all the other bikers make for some insane traffic. Our mantra as we crossed streets was, "Dart, dart, dart!" I'm pleased to say we weren't squashed by any vehicles, but most likely we would have been had we tried to cycle. There are lots of boat cruises offered, and we bought tickets for the canal bus. This boat lets people hop on and off at different stops through the city, and it offers a unique perspective of the houseboats.

When we weren't cruising through the canals or darting through traffice, we did stop to take a few photos. This little park was close to our hotel--I don't know the significance of all the lizard statues, but I thought they were cute. Amsterdam has tons of gorgeous churches, so I took pictures of a couple of them...too bad I can't remember their names! We stopped by Nemo, the huge science museum on the water. It was definitely geared towards kids, but we had fun anyway. I loved the view of the city from its rooftop terrace!

There are several diamond dealers in Amsterdam who offer tours. We arrived at Gassan at the same time as a bus full of American tourists. It was very interesting to watch the workers grind the diamonds down, and even more interesting to see some really big, beautiful diamonds up close and personal. We all filed into an office and our tour guide started unwrapping all these gorgeous diamonds and laying them in front of us. The yellow diamond in the photo was 2.54 carats and worth 198,000 Euros. I was too nervous to get too close to it, let alone touch it--I don't know what I thought would happen, but I had horrific images of me dropping it into a vent or accidently swallowing it or something! Many of the other ladies on the tour had no such hesitation. They were gleefully grabbing and giggling and trying on different jewelry. One lady grabbed that massive, insanely expensive yellow diamond, stuck it on her ring finger, and then huffed, "It's so small, I can barely see it!" Several of the other tourists rolled their eyes, and one suggested that maybe the lady's fingers were just too big. She didn't appreciate that at all, and screeched, "No, I have tiny fingers!" Obviously she had a bit of a problem with reality, as it was a huge diamond (and she had big, yeti hands!) but she kept insisting that all of her diamonds at home were much bigger and nicer than anything our tour guide showed us. Back out on the street after the tour, Kevin and I laughed about the ridiculous woman, and then occasionally sniffed, "Aah, the nouveau riche!"

Later that afternoon, we took a walking tour of Amsterdam and learned a lot about the architecture, history and unique culture of the city. The seventh photo of the mushroom was taken in front of a "Smart Shop". These stores legally sell hallucinogenic mushrooms and other herbal supplements. The government has taken the position that since these things grow naturally, it is perfectly legal to sell, buy and consume them. I thought that marijuana was legal in Amsterdam, but it actually is not. The police turn a blind eye to it as long as the "coffee shops" don't sell alcohol in addition to the marijuana. At the famed flower market, vendors even sell cannabis growing kits, and the tourist shops sell cannabis lollipops. Coming from the very drug-intolerant U.S., all this free and open substance use was a little shocking at first, but Amsterdam seems like one of the happiest, safest cities I have ever visited. Maybe the politicians know what they're doing!

We ended up at the Holland Casino...I guess gambling is much more heavily regulated than drug use, as we were not allowed in at first because Kevin didn't have his passport on him. We were in the mood for Black Jack, so we trotted back to the hotel for the passport, while I sang "Luck Be a Lady Tonight" and flashed some jazz hands at him. Goofy? Oh yes! But maybe it brought him some luck, as we left the casino 80 Euros richer! Sadly, I squandered our winnings on Friday morning. We found a book store, The American Book Center, and I was so excited to find that they carried People magazine--my favorite vice! They also had lots of books that I had been coveting, and English language books are very rare in our local Norwegian bookstore, so I went a little crazy with the spending! On the way back to the hotel, we saw a store advertising American foods. They had Cheerios and Aunt Jemima pancake mix, so we paid an insane $18 for a little taste of home at the breakfast table! (You can buy Multigrain Cheerios in Norway, but I haven't been able to find the original, oaten variety--I have already had a couple of bowls since we returned, and it was worth every penny!)

Anyway, to recap, we loved Amsterdam. The weather was perfect, the flowers were starting to bloom, the architecture and canals were so picturesque, and everyone we met was so welcoming and friendly. It is nice to be back home, relaxing with the animals, but I am already thinking about where we should go next. Maybe a flight up to Tromso on the northern tip of Norway, and then a boat cruise down the west coast to watch the midnight sun? Hopefully!

More About Amsterdam

I love Amsterdam! We had the best time, and compared to Norway, everything is so insanely cheap! We were able to have drinks, appetizers, dinner and dessert for less than the cost of 3 beers in Gjovik--good thing we walked miles and miles around the city and worked off all those extra calories!

We arrived in town on Tuesday afternoon and started wandering around immediately. I was really impressed by the architecture in Amsterdam--lots of beautifully gabled row houses. Most of the buildings have ornate statues and carvings on the top, so I spent much of our walk with my eyes on the roofline...Amsterdam is also full of cobblestone streets, so I may have tripped and stumbled several times, maybe. The many canals are gorgeous too, made even lovelier by all the budding trees. Norway is still pretty snowy, so it was wonderful to experience 3 days of spring in Amsterdam.

On Tuesday evening, we went to a tapas restaurant called "Cafe Poco Loco". The third picture is of the women's restroom--I was really excited about the disco ball in there, and felt the need to photograph it...hmm, maybe all those affordable drinks at dinner had something to do with that? When the waitress brough us our bill, she gave us a couple of lollipops. I'm a candy fiend, so I immediately popped one in my mouth. That was a huge mistake! While the candy at first tasted like vanilla, which I like very much, it quickly turned into brine, which I don't like at all! I removed the offensive lollipop from my mouth, and some white powder poured out of it. I'm not sure if it was salt or citric acid, but it was awful. I was exclaiming about how terrible the candy was, and instead of taking my word for it, Kevin had to taste it for himself. He was laughing and gagging and compared the flavor to licking road salt, yet he finished the whole thing! We were very excited to find these lollipops in a candy store later, and we bought several to share with unsuspecting guests!

There are pancake houses all over Amsterdam, so on Wednesday morning, we went to "The Pancake Corner". Dutch pancakes are huge! And you can put tons of different toppings on them! I really enjoyed my cherry topped pancake, even though I could only eat about half of it.

After pancakes, we headed to the Van Gogh museum. All I can say is wow! Van Gogh is probably my favorite artist, and the museum does a great job of organizing his works so you can see his progression as an artist. He wasn't classically trained, he just observed the Dutch masters of his day and tried to immitate their style. Later, he moved to Paris and his work was influenced both by Japanese artists and the pointilists. Finally, he developed his own style, with the thick, heavy brushstrokes and bold lines, and other artists were influenced by him. In addition to all the Van Gogh paintings, the museum has several works by these artists whose paintings show a Van Gogh influence. As much as I loved this museum, I was a little frustrated by how crowded it was. We were there on a Wednesday morning, well before peak tourist season, and it was absolutely packed. We were able to see everything, but we had to wait in lines for a long time, especially to see some of his most famous paintings such as "Irises" and "Sunflowers". I have heard the Louvre in Paris is much, much worse, so if I ever make it to Paris, I don't think that seeing the "Mona Lisa" will be high on my priority list!

After gazing at all that art, we decided to do something a little less intellectually stimulating--we went to the "Heineken Experience"! I don't even like beer, but I thought this tour was so much fun! We got to see the draft horses who pull the beer cart through the streets of Amsterdam every morning, we got to ride on a couple of simulator rides--my favorite was as a bottle of beer on the conveyor belt, and we got very cool gifts at the end of the tour. My little credit card sized bottle opener is now safely in my wallet, ready for all sorts of bottle opening emergencies!

I'll post more later...lots more photos and wacky stories to come!

Amsterdam

We are back from our trip to Amsterdam--wow, what a beautiful city! We managed to cram so many museums and activities into 3 short days. I'm completely exhausted tonight, but I'll write more and post more photos later......

A Gorgeous Photo

Vera sent me some of the photos she took during her visit to Norway. This one is of the Hopperstad stave church in Vik--I thought this picture was absolutely gorgeous, so I had to share it!

Rondane National Park

Yesterday, Kevin and I took the dogs for a drive up to Rondane National Park. (Originally, we had planned to go to the old copper mining town of Roros, but after being thwarted by several mountain roads which were still blocked by snow, we decided to salvage the day by looking at the beautiful mountains in Rondane instead!) So many Norwegians were out and about yesterday. Most Norwegians have the whole week before Easter off, and many of them love to spend their vacation at their mountain cabins, skiing one last time before the snow melts. There was still so much snow up in the mountains that many people had to leave their cars by the road and haul their supplies by sled up to their cabins...the dogs were very curious about all that food sliding by at nose level! We had a nice walk and a gorgeous drive home, and we are still planning to make it up to Roros some day during the summer.